However, I decided recently to purchase a copy, to have and to remember. It seems important to remember how far I've come in my writing over the last two years, and it seemed like a visual representation of that. So I went back to the email to find the name she had published the book under and searched for it. It popped up on Amazon when I searched for it, and with a little hesitation, I clicked the link.
Then I reached the reviews. Eight of them, all five stars ratings.
"I loved the book."
"Loved this author's unique writing style."
"A must read!!!"
"Well constructed and written."
"Compelling and deeply moving."
There was a big part of me that was proud, but another part that was saddened by this discovery. All these reviews for my writing, and not a single one knew the words had been mine. I was the labor that had built the pyramids as the Pharaoh took all the credit. It was her name that would be remembered, not mine.
So what did that mean? I went to my writing group to ask for advice. As per the usual, they knew how to put it back into perspective for me. Though I am not currently writing for myself, I'm learning and growing. If they liked all that I wrote for someone else, they'll love the stuff I write for myself even more.
It was just the motivation I needed to keep going.